Football
I hate football.
A quote people who know me well enough see as the gentle wind before a coming storm, a storm that often leads to argument and this week Violence.
I listen to football talk everyday at work and as my goodly wife is a fan, at home too. Every conversation i have with people not connected with our skate thing either centers around footy or footy is brought into the exchange as soon as a lull appears in the vocalising. This gives me what friends call "The Mike Standby Mode" whereby i nod, agree and occasionally intersperse the talk with random nuggets of football orientated twaddle such as " Midfield" "Attack" or "Rooney". Participants of these conversations also agree to this random outburst. However im not listening to any of it but still manage to participate in the discussion. This tells me two things....Football fans are imbeciles and anybody can have a discussion about footy however well (or not) you are informed. This is a sport without courage without honour and without the simple content which allows me to have any empathy with it at all. Talk to somebody who skates and you will have a conversation about 1000 things unconnected with skating....now talk to an average football fan.
When i get angry about football it always centers around Murdoch and Sky. I become Bill Hicks on Crystal Meth armed with a machete with barb wire whips. I ranted fully during the week at a good friend of mine while we were driving to work. I told him he was a boring bastard watching soccer, he said he was a fan. I said he was a fool for paying Murdoch the money, he said it was worth it. I said Murdoch was the devil and he was being shafted by Murdoch with horns and a big pointy tail....and as well as fucking you he was probably fucking your girlfriend as well..........up the ass. He said downhill racing is fat old men with beerguts shoved into leather suits. The conversation declined in pure debate and increased the volume. I am a fucker for shouting down the opposition as i have a very loud voice, i also point violently. He said "I work hard for my money and choose to spend it how i like in a Democratic society".....
This annoyed me(Shock Horror)you see money paid to Murdoch's empire doesnt go into some cosy retirement home for old Rupert in Israel. No it goes into shady deals made by Shady men in whispers and hidden transactions. Your money may get a clip of AK ammo in Pakistan or might have paid for the phone that sets off an IED on route Irish. Tentacles upon tentacles the money that flows out of our wage packets will pay for someones death or dismemberment. It also goes into one of the most clever propaganda machines that ever existed. This point escapes most football fans.
If you want to get shafted by Murdoch et al then by all means spread your cheeks and breath in, if your lucky you might get a stinkfinger primer. But please please dont fucking talk to me about it, im not interested at all by transfers and Managers and other shit. Pardew and Wenger have a scrap at the side of the pitch....headline news, break out the fucking gas masks and riot gear. Bollocks, it was a pansy gay slap or two neither of which connected. I want to read that Pardew called Wenger "A Bastard" and shot him with a 9mm concealed in a Lucozade calorie and sugar loaded "Sports Drink" whereupon Wenger stabbed him with a Katana. I would read that. Football is an overhyped pile of shite, football news is pseudo news read by pseudo people for couch mongs stuffing fast food in their faces shouting at players to perform when a gentle jog to the toilet would make most of them collapse with a heart attack. Let football die a graceful death ,let it go, let the Africans have a bit of fun with it and put some real news on instead.
Stuff read this week include Walden by Henry Thoreau, Everest by Chris Bonington and im listening to "The Gourds".
A quote people who know me well enough see as the gentle wind before a coming storm, a storm that often leads to argument and this week Violence.
I listen to football talk everyday at work and as my goodly wife is a fan, at home too. Every conversation i have with people not connected with our skate thing either centers around footy or footy is brought into the exchange as soon as a lull appears in the vocalising. This gives me what friends call "The Mike Standby Mode" whereby i nod, agree and occasionally intersperse the talk with random nuggets of football orientated twaddle such as " Midfield" "Attack" or "Rooney". Participants of these conversations also agree to this random outburst. However im not listening to any of it but still manage to participate in the discussion. This tells me two things....Football fans are imbeciles and anybody can have a discussion about footy however well (or not) you are informed. This is a sport without courage without honour and without the simple content which allows me to have any empathy with it at all. Talk to somebody who skates and you will have a conversation about 1000 things unconnected with skating....now talk to an average football fan.
When i get angry about football it always centers around Murdoch and Sky. I become Bill Hicks on Crystal Meth armed with a machete with barb wire whips. I ranted fully during the week at a good friend of mine while we were driving to work. I told him he was a boring bastard watching soccer, he said he was a fan. I said he was a fool for paying Murdoch the money, he said it was worth it. I said Murdoch was the devil and he was being shafted by Murdoch with horns and a big pointy tail....and as well as fucking you he was probably fucking your girlfriend as well..........up the ass. He said downhill racing is fat old men with beerguts shoved into leather suits. The conversation declined in pure debate and increased the volume. I am a fucker for shouting down the opposition as i have a very loud voice, i also point violently. He said "I work hard for my money and choose to spend it how i like in a Democratic society".....
This annoyed me(Shock Horror)you see money paid to Murdoch's empire doesnt go into some cosy retirement home for old Rupert in Israel. No it goes into shady deals made by Shady men in whispers and hidden transactions. Your money may get a clip of AK ammo in Pakistan or might have paid for the phone that sets off an IED on route Irish. Tentacles upon tentacles the money that flows out of our wage packets will pay for someones death or dismemberment. It also goes into one of the most clever propaganda machines that ever existed. This point escapes most football fans.
If you want to get shafted by Murdoch et al then by all means spread your cheeks and breath in, if your lucky you might get a stinkfinger primer. But please please dont fucking talk to me about it, im not interested at all by transfers and Managers and other shit. Pardew and Wenger have a scrap at the side of the pitch....headline news, break out the fucking gas masks and riot gear. Bollocks, it was a pansy gay slap or two neither of which connected. I want to read that Pardew called Wenger "A Bastard" and shot him with a 9mm concealed in a Lucozade calorie and sugar loaded "Sports Drink" whereupon Wenger stabbed him with a Katana. I would read that. Football is an overhyped pile of shite, football news is pseudo news read by pseudo people for couch mongs stuffing fast food in their faces shouting at players to perform when a gentle jog to the toilet would make most of them collapse with a heart attack. Let football die a graceful death ,let it go, let the Africans have a bit of fun with it and put some real news on instead.
Stuff read this week include Walden by Henry Thoreau, Everest by Chris Bonington and im listening to "The Gourds".
posted by Gravity Bastard at 9:12 AM
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